~ SAFETY PLAN ~

A safety plan is a list of ideas you can use to increase your safety.  It can be especially important if you are considering changing your current situation.  An advocate from your local domestic violence program can help you to look at your current situation and make a plan that is most likely to work for you.  

While you cannot always avoid a violent incident, there are strategies you can use to increase your safety.

before and during an explosive incident

• Decide who you could call for help. Keep a list of phone numbers for friends, relatives, neighbors, police, and/or hotlines.

• Change or add locks on your doors and windows as soon as possible.

• Make sure all areas in your apartment hallways or outside your home are well-lit.

• Practice how to get out of your home safely.  Figure out which doors, windows, elevators, or stairs would be best.

• Decide where you will go if you leave home in an emergency.

• Have a packed bag ready.  Keep it in a secret but accessible place so you can leave quickly.

• Select one or more friends or neighbors who you can tell about the violence. Develop a signal you can use if you need them to call the police. Choose a signal that the perpetrator will not be aware of, like a certain shade pulled down or light left on, or a code word.  Ask trusted neighbors to call the police if they hear a disturbance at your home.

after an explosive incident

• Get medical attention if you are hurt in any way.

• Even if you are in a safe place, call the police if you haven't already done so.

• Have the police or a friend or relative take pictures of your injuries.

• Speak with an advocate from the local domestic violence program for information about your rights and options.

when preparing to leave your partner

• Because abusers often strike back when they believe you are leaving the relationship, it is best to have a careful plan in place before leaving.

• Decide where you will go.  The options could include friends, relatives, shelters or safe homes, and motels. 

• Consider how you will support yourself and your family.

• Leave money, extra keys, copies of important documents, and clothes with someone you trust. Purchase a calling card.  (See checklist below for a more thorough list.)

• If you are in severe danger, consider relocating and/or changing your identity.  You might be in severe danger if your abuser has access to weapons, has threatened homicide or suicide, has stalked you, or abuses drugs or alcohol.

• An advocate from a local domestic violence program can help with many of these decisions.

on the job and in public

• Friends, family, and co-workers can help protect you. Think carefully about who you can trust and who could help you the most.

• Decide which people at work, like your boss, security, or co-workers, you need to tell about the situation.

• Have a co-worker screen your incoming telephone calls and document anything harassing.

• Have someone escort you to your car, bus, or train. Use a variety of routes to go home if possible.  Think about what you would do if something happened on the way home.

protective orders

• Protective orders do not work in all situations, but it is usually a good idea to have one if you fear retaliation from the abuser for leaving the relationship.

• Consult with a court advocate from the local domestic violence program or with a victim witness advocate from the district attorney's office.

• Make extra copies of the protective order and keep them with you at all times.  Keep copies in your car, at friends' or relatives' homes, at work, at your children's daycares or schools.

• Call the police if the abuser violates the protective order.

• The protective order is still valid if you move to another town or state. Remember to register the protective order in your new town.

Your children

• Teach children not to try to help during a fight.

• Practice calling 911 with them.

• If they are old enough, teach them a safe place to go during a violent incident.

• Inform their schools or daycares of the possibility of violence.

• Tell children not to let anyone know their address.

your emotional health

• If you are thinking of returning to someone who has abused you or threatened to abuse you in the past, discuss your safety with someone you trust.

• Try to go through a third person if you need to communicate with the abuser.

• Decide who you can talk to so you can get the support you need.

• Read articles, books, and poetry to help you feel stronger.

• Attend a support group if you feel you could use reassurances from others who have been through similar situations.

• Practice positive thoughts about yourself and be assertive with others about your needs.

• Find something you like to do for yourself. You deserve to have some happiness and fun in your life.

• The experience of being battered and verbally degraded by your partner is exhausting and emotionally draining. Building a new life takes courage and incredible energy.

checklist: what you need to take when you leave

You might want to have these items ready in one location so they are easy to grab if you have to leave in a hurry.  Make your own list with other items you need on it.  It's often a good idea to store them outside the home.

• Identification

• Drivers license, car title and registration

• Birth certificates for self and children

• Marriage certificate

• Divorce papers, custody order

• Protective order

• Passports for self and children

• Green card or immigration papers

• Money, credit cards, ATM card, telephone card

• Checkbooks, bank books, withdrawal slips

• Social security cards for self and children

• Welfare identification

• Lease, rental agreement, house deed

• Health insurance or medical card

• Medical records for all family members

• Insurance papers

• House and car keys

• Medications or prescriptions

• School records

• Work permits

• Address book

• Jewelry

• Small objects you can sell

• Pets (if you can)

• Children's small toys

• Pictures

The information above was adapted from a brochure by the Massachusetts Office of Victim Assistance, www.state.ma.us/mova.

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